Perfect Illusions
by Must Be a Malfoy
Summary: Astoria Greengrass comes to Hogwarts haunted by a past she can't seem to get out of her head or share with anyone. When she meets a boy with his own secrets, she's thrust into his world, with a battle waiting around the corner.
1. Chapter 01-1

**Hi! I'm Must Be a Malfoy, and I write Harry Potter fanfiction. I hope you guys enjoy my fanfiction, and make sure to check out my RL best friend's page, freezeon98! She writes AMAZING Jelsa fanfics. She's totally fab, and like insanely amazing.**

**So, anwho, hope you enjoy my fanfic! Reviews, PMs, all that is greatly appreciated! You guys rock. (:**

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**Chapter 01-1**

**April**

Sometimes it's harder to tell something to someone else when you haven't told yourself. For example, if something weird or different happened to you but you had to tell someone, you have to relay in your mind, roughly, what you'll say; and in some way, admitting to yourself that it actually happened. I really only had to go through that once. I had to tell my worst secret to one of my best friends, to try to keep him from making the worst decision of his life. It didn't work. But I still tried. I was willing to do whatever it took. And I guess, after all, that's what this story I'm about to tell is really all about.

I was born into a magical family. My father was a Death Eater, by persuasion (or force, however you look at it.) He was a friend of Tom Riddle in school, before he became the Dark Lord. During the years before he tried to kill Harry Potter, he threatened to kill my father if he didn't become a Death Eater. Thus, my father lied about having a wife for her safety. Six months before I was born, my parents decided they simply could not raise the child they were having in that dark kind of world. My father broke away from the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord and betrayed their location to the DMLE, who arrested many Death Eaters and sent them to Azkaban. My father knew the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters would surely kill him, so before they could find him, he kissed Daphne, my older sister who was two years old at the time, my mother, and her stomach, where I was beginning to form. Then he went off somewhere. My mother still doesn't know to this day; he hadn't told her. And I'd never seen him again. I've seen pictures of my father, but I never knew him.

My mother and I were very different, but we loved each other more than anything. My mother was very quiet and reserved. She didn't get out of the house a lot, but she read so much, it was like she was somewhere else all the time. She was sort of in her own world most of my childhood, while I was usually very realistic and practical in my reasoning and ways. She was tall and had a healthy build, but I've been short all my life and was skin-and-bones skinny when I was a kid. There was one thing I had in common with my mother. We both were very casual about using magic. We never really did unless it was completely necessary. My mother only apparated to get around because it was cheaper than using money for gasoline. She kept her wand in a drawer beside her bed for emergencies, but other than that, we lived as though we were muggles, and we hardly ever found anything wrong with that.

When I was five years old, I met a girl named April Simmons. Her family moved into the house right beside ours, and immediately we knew they were a magical family like us. She was very petite, with long blonde hair and a smile that could warm you to the bone. Immediately we were best friends. There was no rhyme or reason, no question to it at all. We just met, and she was my best friend. Just like that; it was like we were made to be best friends.

As we grew up together, I was more and more sure we were going to be best friends for all of our lives. She was my other half, and we literally did everything together. I loved her more than any of my other friends, although I wasn't about to let them know that. But April knew. April always knew, because I told her everything. Every secret I had was April's secret also. As we got even older, into 4th and 5th grades, we both started having the same hints that we were witches. We could do certain things that all the other kids couldn't. With both of us being born into magical families, there was hardly any doubt about it. We would lay in bed at night-when I stayed at her house, or she stayed at mine-and talk for hours about our dreams of going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She got her letter before mine, but our birthdays were exactly one month apart, so it wasn't long until I got mine also. Exactly two days after my eleventh birthday, I got my Hogwarts acceptance letter. My mother was so happy, she put down her book and said in a determined tone, "Well, you know what this calls for, right? We're having a party! Call April over."

"Mum, we don't have to, we had a party with April just the other day," I said, smiling.

"I know, but this is another special occasion! Go on," she said and led my sister, Daphne, over to the refrigerator. She pulled out leftover homemade cake from my birthday party just as I was walking out the door for April's. April and I came back to one slice of cake for each of us, and my mother put on a jazz record. We all danced, April, my mother, Daphne, and I. I stood on my mother's feet during the slow songs, April stood on Daphne's, and we danced around the room. It was one of the happiest times of my childhood.

April and I couldn't wait to pack up our suitcases and go, even though the Hogwarts Express didn't leave for a little over a month. We ended up going to Diagon Alley early to get our supplies. After looking around at all the sights, we decided to get down to business. First we bought our uniforms, and then our books. Then our telescopes, our scales, our cauldrons, and our phials. We stopped at Magical Menagerie and found two practically identical ginger cats. We absolutely loved them, and bought them immediately. The last thing to do was to buy our wands. After frivolously searching for the right wand for me at Ollivander's and going through around twenty wands, we finally found the right one. Nine-and-a-half inches, phoenix feather, and pine. April's was nine inches, phoenix feather, and cedar. We were so excited to get our new wands, we couldn't wait to use them! Although our mothers both said to wait until we learned to use them correctly, we secretly planned to try them out the next time we spent the night with each other. We left the empty wand boxes with our mothers so they could pay for them, and went outside. There were so many more people than there were when we first arrived; it was midday now. But April stood still, listening to something over the noise of the crowd.

"Do you hear that?" she asked.

"Hear what?"

"It sounds like someone's screaming, like they're hurt. Coming from around the back of Olivander's. Come on, let's go see if we can help!" April sneaked around the side of the building, and I followed suit, even though I already had a feeling that this wasn't the best idea. April peeked around the corner, and then turned back to me.

"He's hurting that poor girl!"

"Well, what can we do about it?" I asked.

"We have these," she held up her wand and smiled her mischievous smile at me. I smiled back cautiously.

"Okay, we run out on three. I'll tell him to stop and if he doesn't listen, we'll get him! One, two..."

"April, what if-"

"Three!"

She was already running out, and I felt the need to follow her, to protect her from the harm I felt was coming.

"Hey!" she yelled at the man. He turned, and as he did, the woman he was torturing slumped to the ground in a heap. I could see she was still breathing though.

"Leave her alone!" April had that dangerous amount of authority in her voice.

"And what are you going to do to me, little girl?" the man taunted her in his thick foreign accent and smiled, showing two rows of nasty yellow teeth.

April lifted her wand, and bellowed, "Expelliarmus!"

The man's wand flew out of his hand and clattered on the floor beside him. He looked at April, seemingly shocked that such a big voice had come out of such a small girl. I wondered for a second where she had learned the spell. He quickly regained his composure, and reached down to retrieve his wand. With just a slight flick of his hand, April's wand flew across the abandoned back alley, way out of reach. Then he drew back his arm, and before even I knew what I was doing, I ran over and shielded April with my back to the man. I suddenly heard what sounded like a large sudden gust of wind, and felt immediate pain on my left shoulder blade. I staggered a couple steps, then fell to the ground.

"You foul, horrible person!" April spat at the man and started to run over to me.

I watched with horrible realization as a green light flashed across the alley and hit April in the stomach. She stepped backward, her eyes shut tightly, screaming and clutching her stomach, and then collapsed in a heap on the ground.

By the time I looked back over, where the man had once been standing, a black fog-like substance was disappearing into the sky. I could feel the blood soaking my shirt, but nothing could stop me from crawling my way over to April. I took her hand in mine.

"April!" I yelled, crying, "April, wake up! Please, April, wake up! Listen to me, April, you can't be dead! You can't!" My arms gave out and I collapsed, my head on top of April's stomach. I heard someone screaming and sobbing until I realized it was me. I didn't notice the people rapidly gathering around me. I barely cared when a paramedic scooped me into his arms and carried me like a baby to the ambulance. I didn't fully respond to any of my mother's questions in the ride to the hospital. April was dead. Nothing mattered except that April was gone. My best friend, out of my life, forever. I should have stopped her. I should have said something before we even rounded the side of Ollivander's. I should have known.

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**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 01-2

**Hello people of the world! Hope you're all doing awesome.**

**Thank you SO MUCH to EmeraldSwan92 for leaving me a REVIEW! First review ever! Woo!**

**Sorry, I get excited. Oh, and also, side note here, this fanfiction is in Astoria Greengrass's POV. Some people on Instagram got confused when I posted it on there, so I just wanted to clear that up for everybody.**

**Happy reading, everyone!**

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**Chapter 01-2**

**April**

"So, are all your things packed?" my mother asked me.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm positive," I shifted my shoulders around and tried to make the place around my stitches stop itching. It didn't work, and it hurt, so I just left it.

I had decided to go to Hogwarts despite April's death; the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it was what she would have wanted me to do. Prior to leaving the house, my mother kissed both me and Daphne on the cheek and said, "Girls, it'll be crowded in King's Cross, so I just want to tell you now: I love you both more than you even know. I know times have been hard lately with... Well, you know, but just remember that I love you no matter what happens, ever."

She kissed us on the cheek and hugged us both, then sighed and opened the front door.

"Well, let's clear out."

We all walked to the car.

"Do you want the front seat?" Daphne asked me. She'd gone particularly out of her way lately to be nice to me, and I appreciated that.

"Thanks," I muttered without much enthusiasm, and got in.

As my mother sent us off-for my first year and Daphne's third-on the Hogwarts Express, I realized how much I would miss her. I waved frantically out of the window, and she waved back tearfully.

After we left the station, I searched for an open seat on the train. I passed a few girls and boys who looked like they were the same year as I was, and a compartment with a full-grown tattery-looking man asleep on one side of the seat and two boys and one girl on the other side, talking. I thought one of the boys looked something like Harry Potter, but I wasn't sure it was him. I ended up finding an open compartment. Inside was a skinny blonde boy, two very large boys, and a girl with very frizzy brown hair. I knocked almost silently, slid open the door slowly, and asked in a halfway confident voice if I could sit. I told them this was the first open compartment I'd come to on the train. The large boys and the girl all looked at the blonde boy. Slowly he nodded. I walked in and sat across from the skinny boy. No one said anything for a while. I could feel their eyes on me, and finally the boy asked, "So, who are you?"

"Astoria Greengrass," I replied, nodding slightly once.

"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy," he reached out his hand, and I shook it. I knew the Malfoy family. They were all very wealthy.

He continued, "This is Pansy Parkinson, and this is Crabbe and Goyle. We're all third-years," he pointed to the skinny girl, then the large boys. The boys both nodded at me, but the girl just looked at me, her stare cold and calculating.

"I suppose both of your parents are of magical blood, then?" Draco asked. I knew this was a very important question to answer. The Malfoys were very prejudiced against half-blood and muggle-born wizards and witches. It was rumored that his father was a Death Eater when Voldemort was still in power.

"Yes, both of them."

"I see. And where do they work?"

"My mother was a columnist for the Wizarding Weekly magazine before she retired last year," I told him. He nodded, his expression looking as though I had become acceptable in his eyes. A feeling of slight satisfaction came over me until I saw the look on Pansy Parkinson's face. She was rolling her eyes dramatically, and she sighed and crossed her arms.

"What about your father, is he employed?"

I waited a second before I answered, weighing the results of lying against telling the truth. I finally decided the truth was the right way to go; it would save me a lot of trouble later.

"My father actually died before I was born."

"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that," Draco didn't sound very sorry at all. I was starting to have my doubts about this group of third-years.

"Well, maybe you can be a part of our little gang this year."

"Your gang?" I longed now so much to have friends at Hogwarts, and this offer seemed particularly appealing.

"Yeah, it's me, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Blaise, and Connor. We mainly just like to mess with Potter," he looked around at Crabbe and Goyle and they chuckled.

I merely smiled slightly and nodded, for I did not know what to think of this. Messing with Potter? Did he mean Harry Potter? I couldn't see what was so wrong with Harry Potter from what I'd heard about him. He'd defeated the worst dark wizard of all time, he had to be at least okay, right?

Just as I was thinking this, two boys whom I guessed were Connor and Blaise walked in and closed the compartment door. The problem with this was that there was only one empty seat left in the compartment.

"Blaise, Connor! Good to see you," Draco said to the boys.

I stood up.

"I should probably be going, theres not enough room," I muttered embarrassedly, gathering my things.

"Find me later, and we'll talk about the possibility of putting you in the gang, alright?" Draco said.

"Alright," I replied, and walked out of the compartment with my large trunk, shutting the door behind me.

Something about Draco's quick-to-the-point attitude intrigued me. I hadn't even been here for a day, and already I was being invited into a gang. Due to the number of gang members, I felt as if it didn't happen every day, and it made me feel better to have at least something like friends here. I started to walk down the aisle until I found an empty spot in a compartment occupied by Daphne and identical twin girls. I knocked quietly, and then opened the door.

"I can't find an empty place to sit. Do you mind if I sit here?" I asked. The twins and Daphne nodded, so I slipped inside and placed my trunk on the shelves above our heads, and Daphne told the girls that I was the sister she telling them about. As soon as I sat down, the train put on its breaks, and it was all I could do not to fly forward onto one of the twins. The sky outside our window suddenly turned a greyish color, the lights flickered and went off, and I suddenly became very cold. I crossed my arms over myself and looked up at Daphne.

"Is it me, or did it just get really cold in here?" one of the twins asked.

The rest of us nodded. Suddenly I saw a black looming figure float ominously in front of our compartment's glass door. It moved it's fingers, and the door slowly opened. I became colder than I'd been in years. The black figure came very close to me, even though I backed away. Then it did something, and suddenly I felt just as I did laying on the street with April: completely miserable and heartbroken. I even heard her scream almost as clearly as I did that day. Then suddenly my vision was consumed with black, and I passed out.

"Did the Dementor...?"

"Yes. I knew it would have though. Her best friend died about a month ago... Why are they here anyway?"

"To look for Sirius Black."

"Did they find him?"

"No, he's not on the train. You don't have anything to worry about."

I blinked open my eyes to find the twins on one side of me and Daphne and that raggedy-looking man who was asleep in the other compartment earlier on the other side.

"Ah, she's awake. Let's sit her up, shall we?"

I tried to sit up, and they helped me get into the seat.

"What happened to me?"

"Well, the Dementor-"

"What's that?"

"They were made to be guardians of Azkaban. But about what happened to you, as I told another student earlier, if you get too near a Dementor, every good feeling and every happy memory will be sucked out of you. That's what it did to you."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bar of chocolate.

"Here, eat this, it will actually make you feel better. I have to leave, but we'll see each other around," he smiled at me, then got up and exited the room.

"What does he mean, 'we'll see each other around'?" I asked.

Daphne replied, "He's our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this year."

"Oh."

Daphne and the twins made small talk most of the day until one of them spoke to me.

"I'm Flora, by the way," she said and shook my hand.

"Astoria Greengrass, but you can call me Tori," I replied.

"This is my sister, Hestia," Flora motioned to her twin. We shook hands, and all was silent in the compartment again.

"I'm dreadfully sorry, Tori, about your friend," Flora said, and I could tell she meant it. I simply nodded, afraid that if I spoke, I would break down.

"I'm a first year too. I hope we all three get sorted into the same house," Flora said, and Hestia nodded. I noticed that Hestia didn't speak much, and Flora seemed overly talkative compared to her sister.

"Hey, you three might want to see this," Daphne called us over to the window, and we all gasped. There before us was the Hogwarts castle, lights glowing inside, becoming more and more visible in the sunset. It was beautiful. As the train pulled into the station, I stood and grabbed my trunk from the shelf.

"Well," Daphne said, "Welcome to Hogwarts!"

Flora, Hestia, and I grinned from ear to ear and stepped out of the compartment. As we did, I felt a little empty ache inside, and I knew why. It was because April could have been beside me as I entered the castle. And she wasn't.

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**Hope you liked this chapter! Review, PM, whatever ya want. You guys are cool. (:**


	3. Chapter 02-1

**Hey guys! Have a good weekend? Tell all your mothers a late Happy Mothers Day from me!**

**Anywho, thanks to my friend freezeon98 for the review and favorite. You're too fab for me to handle. (:**

**Thanks to freezeon98 and Haudi for the follow! You guys are awesome!**

**Anyway, on to the fic! Enjoy, my lovelies.**

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**Chapter 02-1**

**Secrets**

To sum up my first year at Hogwarts, it was sort of uneventful. Nothing really happened. I didn't become a part of Draco's close gang, (I didn't believe in bullying people, and I will admit that Pansy scared me off a little too) but myself and the Carrow twins, Flora and Hestia-who became my close friends that year-sat near the gang during the meals and hung out with them during our free time.

The years that followed were also a little uneventful. My second year, I excelled in my studies, which made my mother proud, but there wasn't much else to do. Which was why I was surprised when Draco pulled me aside after dinner one day.

"Do you want to see something cool?" he asked, a twinkle in his eye that I had never seen before.

Having nothing else to do, I replied, "Sure."

"Okay," Draco smiled as he said the word, and my heart skipped a beat.

Draco led me to the seventh floor, where no one else was to be found.

"Here." he stood me in front of the bare wall. We were both silent for a second, and then a door floated up from within the wall.

"Woah," I said without thinking.

Draco turned to me.

"You can't tell anyone about this. Anyone at all. Got it?"

"Got it," I nodded, and Draco opened the door, motioning for me to step in. I did, and immediately I was wonderstruck by the room. It was huge, with very high ceilings and piles and piles of things all around me.

"What is this place?" I asked, looking around at all the miscellaneous items stacked around the room.

"The Room of Requirement. Some people call it the Room of Hidden Things," Draco shut the door, walked over, and stood beside me.

"You can only get in if you need something."

"What did you need?"

"I needed to show you something," Draco said nonchalantly, and walked ahead of me, rounding a huge pile of things and out of sight. I stood, still gazing around me, for just a second, and then walked forward after Draco. But when I rounded the pile, he wasn't there.

"Draco," I said, halfway calling out his name, and halfway a question.

I looked left, no sign of him.

I looked right, he wasn't over there either. I started walking forward again, and as I rounded another pile of junk, (or was it the same one?) Draco stepped out in front of me. I jumped, a high-pitched sound coming out of my mouth.

"Did I scare you?" Draco asked me, laughing.

"Yeah, just a bit," I laughed also.

Draco and I talked for two hours in that room, about school, about friends, about our family, about almost everything. But the one thing I never told him about was April. Although there was no way I could really open up like that, it was the day I felt I really met Draco for the first time.

Christmas was just around the corner, and the Yule Ball was approaching fast. I kept looking for someone who would want to go with me, but I didn't have very high expectations. One day, I received a note attached to a chocolate frog, laying right on my pillow.

I'm jumping at the thought of going to the Yule Ball with you. If you'll go with me, I'll be croaking with happiness.

Draco Malfoy

I held the frog and the note to my chest, closed my eyes, and smiled so wide I thought I might explode with happiness. Draco Malfoy wanted to go to the Yule Ball with me. Immediately I ran to find Flora and Hestia to tell them, and they immediately started talking about what dress I should get and what color looked best on me. That was the first day I truly felt like someone of the opposite gender wanted to go on a date with me, even if it might have only been a friendly date.

At the end of my second year, Harry Potter began raving that Lord Voldemort had returned. Some believed him, and some didn't. But I didn't know what to think. In my third year, I slacked a bit in my studies because I was spending so much time with Draco in the Room of Requirement. Same in my fourth year. My mother was disappointed in me, but was thrilled with Daphne, who excelled in approaching her final years of school. At the end of fourth year, though, everything changed.

Our Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, died. The official report was that he died of natural causes. I mean, he was pretty old, but I definitely smelled something fishy. Rumors spread. Some say he got stressed and killed himself by jumping off the astronomy tower. Some say they heard that Snape killed him, because he was next in line to be Headmaster. Some say it was Voldemort himself. I didn't know, and I didn't have an opinion on the matter. I just shrunk back and listened to what everyone else had to say. As the year came to a close, I was as confused as ever, and myself and Draco were growing apart. He was dating Pansy at that point, and she was very protective of him. He kept making excuses not to hang out with me, but I knew it was her decision, not his. I wrote him letters during the summer holidays, but he rarely wrote back. And when he did, his letters were short. I was starting to worry. What could be wrong with him?

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**Hmmmmm... What could be wrong with Draco? I mean, it's sort of obvious, because we all know what happened his sixth year, but she's completely clueless... Poor Astoria! Anywho, thanks for reading, guys! You're the best.**


	4. Chapter 02-2

**Hey guys! How are you, my lovelies? Hope you're having a great day! Good gracious, I swear, if I get any more busy, I'll probably explode. I don't have a night off this week at all. Crazy! But anyway, sorry for rambling, you guys probably don't care about my personal stuff anyhow. (:**

**Thanks to Midnight Reader for the review!**

**Midnight Reader: Her dad did leave, so they don't know for _certain_ that he's dead, but they can kind of assume he is, because they're sorta thinking either Voldemort and the other Death Eaters found him, or that he died on his own. Because all through her childhood, Voldemort was thought to be dead, so they thought that if her father were alive he would have returned to them by then. I really hope that makes sense because I'm not very good at explaining things at all. Lol. :P**

**Anywho, on to the fic!**

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**Chapter 02-2**

**Secrets**

My fifth year was a wreck. Death Eater twins, Alecto and Amycus Carrow (Flora and Hestia's distant family) became the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professors. I dreaded the class. We were all under very strict rule under Headmaster Snape, Draco wasn't even in school most of the year, and apparently Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley went to try and find and destroy Voldemort's horcruxes.

Finally, near the end of my fifth year, Draco came back for a while. I was so happy. But I was still so stressed out with school that I began to think... Why don't I just leave for a while? Go somewhere where I didn't have to worry about school. And Draco could come with me. It was perfect! Maybe slightly crazy, but perfect. So one afternoon, I went to the seventh floor to find him. I was sure he was in the Room of Hidden Things.

"I need to find Draco. I need to find Draco. I need to find Draco," I repeated to myself rhythmically, almost frantically. Pacing the wall quickly, I was starting to give up hope. Suddenly a door floated up from within the wall and I sighed in relief. I opened the door and stepped in quietly. I tiptoed around for a bit until I found him, sitting on an old raggedy cot, hunched over, his back to me, his head in his hands. I stopped for a moment and just looked at him. His white-blonde hair slightly tousled in the back, his spine showing through his shirt, his back steadily moving up and down with every breath he took. Every so often, he would take a large breath and run his fingers back through his hair a couple times. To me, he was perfect. I leaned against a large pile of junk and simply watched him think for a while. Until a large heavy book fell to the floor with a loud thunk. Draco jumped and spun around, drawing his wand with a face that looked ready for a fight.

Instinctively, I reached for my wand to ward off any spells before realizing I'd left it in the common room.

"Draco!" I yelled, crouching down to shield my head against anything he might cast at me.

After a few seconds of dead silence, I heard him drop his hands to his legs loudly.

"Tori, what in Merlin's name are you doing here?" he said exasperatedly.

"Well, I needed to ask you a question, and I figured you'd be here..."

"You figured right," Draco snapped.

I looked at him, surprised at his outburst.

"What's the matter, Draco?" I asked softly.

He ran a hand through his hair and looked away.

"Well, it's been a while, and I didn't want to tell you because... Well I don't know, but Pansy and I broke up last month."

"Oh," I said simply. I didn't know what to say, "I'm sorry, Draco."

"It's not a big deal, I'm over her anyway..." he trailed off.

Awkward silence for a while.

"What is it that you wanted?" Draco asked finally.

"Well… I'm leaving, for a while. And I was wondering, since you've been friends with me since I came here, if you wanted to come with me."

"Wait, you're leaving? Where are you going?" Draco leaned his back against the cot and put his hands in his pockets.

"I'm just... Getting away from everything. Snape's breathing down our necks, my O.W.L.'s are coming up in a few months, and I'm under a lot of stress. I want to just... Leave. We could go somewhere nice, and be completely free do whatever we want! Nobody ordering us around, or anything."

"Tori..."

"And we could forget about magic and spells and school and everything, just for a while, we could act like normal people for a change!"

Draco looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"So, what do you think?" I smiled at him slightly.

He shook his head slowly.

"I can't, Tori. I've got too much going on right now to leave."

My smile faded. But I wouldn't give up yet.

"Come on! Forget about everything here, and let's just go for a while."

"Tori, I can't go with you! I can't!" his voice was rising, and I didn't know why. But I knew something was bothering him outside of his and Pansy's breakup. The sun shone brightly through a window, almost blinding me. I squinted, struggling to keep my eyes from watering in the sun. He would think I was crying. Although I was worried he would get angry at me if I pressed on, I'd have liked to think that I wasn't one to break down easily in front of others anymore, even Draco.

"Tori, you can't just expect me to turn around and follow you wherever you go!" Draco said defensively.

"I don't expect that, I just want what would be good for both of us," my request started to sound more and more like a plead.

"You don't know anything about my life right now," his voice was suddenly cold and rigid.

"You have no idea what I've been through either! What I've seen!"

Draco's face softened.

"Then why won't you tell me?" he said softly.

I closed my eyes, taken aback by his gentleness. But then I saw the reason I couldn't tell Draco. I saw April's face. I saw the green flash of light and I heard her scream.

When I blinked open my eyes again, they were filled with tears.

"It's complicated," my voice cracked. I sounded scared-and vulnerable-like a little girl.

Draco just stood there and looked at me for a while. Then he reached up to my face, wiped a single tear that had fallen on my cheek with his thumb, and walked away, winding around piles of things, towards the front of the Room of Requirement.

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**Thanks for reading, lovelies!**


	5. Chapter 02-3

**Hello my peoples! How are you? I hope you're doing fabulous.**

**I posted the prologue to my new fanficiton, Stand Still Juliet. It's about Loki and it's set in the time of the Avengers movie. I hope you can maybe read it and review, even if it's criticism. Anything is welcome! I just want to know whether it's even worth posting. Thanks, dearies. (: **

**A****lso, maybe watch for me to post a couple one-shots. One is BBC Sherlock, and I may post that one today or tomorrow, and the other I'm still working on. Top secret, hush hush. You guys are awesome.**

**Anywho, thanks to midnight reader for leaving another review!**

**On to the fic!**

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**Chapter 02-3**

**Secrets**

I called after him, my voice hoarse, "Draco!"

He didn't even look back. I could see his stiff motions as he walked.

I cleared my throat and yelled again, "Draco!"

Still, not so much as a backwards glance.

I ran after him. Couldn't he hear me?

"Draco!" I grabbed his arm and whirled him around to face me. My brown bangs fell into my eyes.

"Astoria, stop! Don't try to make this worse than it already is. You're my friend. I like you. Please, before you get hurt, leave. Go, without me. Just forget about me."

What did he mean, before I got hurt?

"I can't forget about you," part of me was truly shocked to find this was true.

"Oh really?" sarcasm started to show through in his voice.

"Yes!"

There was a pause before he spoke again.

"Why?" Draco's face showed he was sincere now.

"Ever since the Ball, since my second year, I haven't been able to forget about you." I felt my cheeks getting red as I looked down at my feet.

A moment of silence until he understood.

Then Draco took a step back and looked incredulously at me.

"You don't mean... Astoria, no. This will not work. We can't be together, it would put too much risk upon you."

I blushed even further and didn't speak. Why did he keep talking about danger and risk?

"Look, Tori. We've known each other since we were kids. You're one of the only friends I have who's a kind, sincere, real person. And, friends or something more, I've always loved you, Tori. And I would never put anyone I truly loved in danger. You're not safe with me. You can't trust me. I'm not even sure I can trust myself!"

All this talk about danger was starting to scare me . I knew the Dark Lord had risen to power again but this was terrifying, almost as if he was here with us. Draco looked me dead in the eyes, and I felt something I'd never felt before. Exhilaration mixed with dread. Joy mingling with depression. Light coexisting with darkness.

Then Draco sighed and did something I never would have expected.

He pulled up his left sleeve.

I looked down, then backed away in panic. On Draco Malfoy's arm was the Dark Mark.

I screamed, "How could you!"

"What would you expect from the boy whose parents are both followers of the Dark Lord? He told me he'd _kill_ them!" Draco's face looked panicked, pleading with me to understand.

Tears swam up to cloud my vision.

"You... You don't know... What he did..." I stammered.

"Who?"

I had to maintain control before I answered.

"A Death Eater," I whispered.

Draco's face paled. He quickly regained his composure.

"I know what the Death Eaters do. What they do is help to try and rid the world of those… Those _Mudbloods_." But even I could tell he didn't quite believe it himself.

"That's not all... They did... You don't know what... What he did... To me..." I was gasping for air now, my head spinning.

"He didn't hurt you, did he Astoria?" Draco's face was twisted into an expression I couldn't place.

This time it was my turn to reveal my secret marks. I tried to catch my breath, and then reached backwards to pull down the collar of my shirt slightly, revealing the large scar across the back of my shoulder. Draco gasped.

"Tori, what happened?" his voice was soft and urgent.

I knew then that it was time to tell my horrible story, something I had never shared myself with anyone before.

Sometimes it's harder to tell something to someone else when you haven't told yourself.

I sunk down in a huge velvet chair big enough for four of me and told Draco everything. About April, how she was the most amazing and embarrassing person I knew. How we did everything together, except one thing. No matter how much I thought and believed that we would grow old and see the end of life together, we couldn't. I told him what happened that day in the alley behind Ollivander's. What the Death Eater did to her, and also to me. Soon enough I had stopped talking and the only sound heard in the Room of Requirement was my crying. Draco had been standing in one spot the whole time I had been talking, and now he hadn't moved for a long time. When he did, it was subtle. He walked very slowly over to me and sat in the chair beside me. After a few seconds I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders. I laid my head on his shoulder, my tears soaking into his shirt.

"Astoria," he whispered, "Look at me."

I looked up at him slowly.

"Tori, I'm so sorry," Draco said, "I shouldn't have been so cold to you."

My green eyes locked with his grey ones. Draco leaned down pressed his lips against my cheek.

I knew then Draco wasn't going to come with me. And I also realized how childish it was for me to want to leave. I couldn't just drop everything as soon as things got hard. I had no reliable means of transportation, and I'd be seen as a runaway, and furthermore, a coward. If Draco could

I knew there was a possibility that Draco could go to Azkaban-or even die-doing what he was going to do. I closed my eyes and promised to myself to savor the moments I had with him from then on.

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**Thanks for reading! (:**


	6. Chapter 03-1

**Hey guys! Thanks to sanbeegoldiewhitey for the review.**

**On to the fic! (:**

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**Chapter 03-1**

**Secrets**

I ended up making my way out of Draco's arms and back into the common room. I don't even remember how. I was in a daze, but I do remember being glad that I didn't pass anyone in the hall.

Sometimes I wasn't good at admitting bad things that happened-and sometimes even good things-were real; I wanted to just push it out of my mind, telling myself it was just something I imagined.

Okay, Tori. Tonight was real. It was crazy, but it was real. Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater. Draco Malfoy told me not to trust him. Then Draco Malfoy kissed my cheek. He held on to me while I cried for April for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Confused and disoriented, I pulled the curtains around my bed and fell asleep.

When I awoke, the sun was shining brightly outside. I sat up and looked at my alarm clock. I was missing Divination. Oh well. I decided to at least get up for Potions. I took another shower to freshen up, and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I threw on my clothes and my robe. I grabbed my wand and my bag with all my books in it and headed out the door.

Potions was normal, although Draco wouldn't even spare a glance at me the whole time. I sat next to Hestia and spaced out, thinking about how I could get back into the Room of Requirement again. It was nice. Quiet. Only a few people knew about it; even I wouldn't have known about it if Draco hadn't told me. He practically lived in there anyway.

"You alright?" Hestia asked me as we were leaving the classroom.

"Yeah, just a little... Tired, that's all," I decided not to tell her about what happened in the Room of Requirement the previous day.

"You sure that's it?"

My resolve wavered, and then broke.

"Okay, I'll tell you later," I said. After all, Hestia was my one of my best friends. If anyone deserved to know, it would be either Hestia, Flora, or Daphne. Honestly, I'd probably end up telling all three of them.

Later, in the common room, I gathered Daphne, Flora, and Hestia, and spilled my guts about Draco, holding back only the Room of Requirement. I wanted it to remain a secret place. As girls do, they promised not to tell anyone. It felt good to get it off my chest though.

During the following weeks, Draco and I would escape after dinner just about every other night to spend time together in the Room of Requirement. We'd talk, and the more we talked, the more I was drawn to him.

One night he was telling me a story about something Professor Sprout had said, and I cracked up. Draco was laughing too, but when we stopped, he looked at me for a long time, the trace of a smile still on his lips.

"What?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious.

Draco blinked. "Nothing, it's just… You're beautiful."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever."

"I'm serious! When laugh, and your eyes crinkle up at the edges, it's beautiful."

I blushed deeper.

"Why don't you see it?"

"I just don't think I am."

"You're saying you don't trust my judgement? You don't believe me?" That sly smile returned.

"No, well, yes, I mean… I believe you about everything but this."

Draco got up and started walking past me, toward the door. I stood, and he stopped to face me. For a moment, he held my gaze, and then he put a hand on my face and brought it up to his own. The kiss was short and sweet, and when we broke apart, I saw that same smile, but this time in his eyes.

"Believe me now?"

I shook my head just so he'd lean down to kiss me again.

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**Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 03-2

**Hey guys! How's it going? School's almost out, and I'm finding EVERY excuse to get out of P.E. It's just too close to the end of the year. Ain't nobody got time for that.**

**Hey, if you want, maybe check out my Loki fanfic, Stand Still Juliet? Here's the link to the prologue if you want to check it out: s/10350884/1/Stand-Still-Juliet**

**Anyway, on to the fic!**

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**Chapter 03-2**

**Imminent**

One night, very close to the end of the year, I couldn't sleep for some reason. I was going to see if Daphne was awake, but then I had realized she'd left earlier for a job interview in Diagon Alley. I was freezing, so I crept out of bed to go down to the fireplace in the common room. I was surprised to find that Draco was sitting there on the couch, picking at a place on his fingernail. I tiptoed around the couch, and Draco saw me. He scooted over so I could sit by him. I did.

"Why up so late?" he asked me.

"Couldn't sleep," I answered.

"Same," he said.

Neither of us said anything for a while. Suddenly, though, a question popped into my head.

"Why do you like it so much?"

"Like what so much?"

"The Room of Requirement."

"Well," Draco began, and then took a huge breath, letting it out slowly, "I don't know, it kind of gives me a place where I can be me, no matter what anyone else thinks. I can be alone, and I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not, or someone that people think I am. I mean, everyone expects me to be this tough, mean kid because my father and mother work for the Dark Lord. But sometimes I just feel like I'm... Not."

I waited a second, chewing on this. I looked at Draco for a second. His eyes reflected the fire dancing in the fireplace.

"Do you have to pretend when I'm with you?" I asked.

There was a pause before he answered.

"Sometimes. But I haven't been tonight."

"Well, I have to say, I like the real Draco much better than the Draco who acts tough. I like the real you."

Draco smiled and exhaled slightly.

Silence for a while.

"By the way, I'm not going," I said.

"Going where?"

"I'm not leaving, like I said I was. I mean, this is your last year, and I wanna spend time with you before you leave."

Draco said nothing, but after a second, he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him, hugging me tightly. When I turned my head to look up at him, I was surprised to find that his eyes were filled with tears.

I immediately shifted to sit cross-legged in front of him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, the concern in my voice quite evident.

"You're not safe here," Draco whispered.

"What do you mean?"

Draco paused. As he opened his mouth to answer me, though, a voice resounded through the common room.

"Would all students please come to the Great Hall... Immediately," Snape's voice resounded in the common room.

Draco and I got up. Suddenly, Draco grabbed my shoulders, pulled me in, and kissed me. It was short and sweet. He pulled away and looked me in the eye.

"I love you," Draco said, with such intensity that I was sure I was melting.

"I love you too," I whispered.

Then we left, out of the common room doors, side by side.

When we all got into the Great Hall, Snape made this huge speech about how Harry Potter was sighted in Hogsmeade. I tuned it out immediately, having nothing to do with it. Plus, I was tired.

All of a sudden, someone stepped out into the middle of the Great Hall. From the back, it was hard to tell who it was, but Flora, who was right in front of me, turned around and whispered, "It's Harry Potter!"

Harry Potter? How-

Suddenly, the doors of the Great Hall swung open behind me, and I saw a small crowd of people, one of whom was Ginny Weasley, who was in my year and in my Care of Magical Creatures class.

"Despite your exhaustive efforts, you still seem to have a bit of a security problem, Headmaster," Harry said, "Tell them how it happened that night. Tell then how you looked him in the eye, a man who trusted you, and killed him. Tell them!"

So Snape had killed Dumbledore.

Professor Snape raised his wand to Harry, and Harry did the same.

But then Professor McGonagall stepped in front of Harry, raising her wand to Snape.

The tension was so thick none of us moved.

Then a series of red lights shot out of McGonagall's wand, and Snape backed away, blocking the spells. After a few seconds of this, Snape disappeared in a black fog and smashed through the window.

Professor McGonagall flicked her wand, and the whole Great Hall lit up. Students cheered.

Suddenly, though, Harry fell to the ground. The room got quiet. Then a girl in her first or second year covered her ears and started to scream loudly.

Then, a loud hissing voice resounded in my ears. I covered my ears, and as I looked around, I discovered that it was in everyone else's ears too.

"I know some of you are prepared to fight. Some of you may even think to fight is wise. I do not like to spill magical blood. But there is a way out.

"Give me Harry Potter, and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave Hogwarts untouched. GIve me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight."

Dead silence in the Great Hall.

Then I heard the voice of Pansy Parkinson.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Someone grab him!"

After she said this, all of the people who had walked in earlier were at Harry's side, protecting him.

About the same time, Argus Filch ran in, yelling, "Students out of bed! Students in the corridors!"

"They are supposed to be out of bed, you blathering idiot!" Professor McGonagall said.

"Oh," Filch replied shortly.

"Mr. Filch, would you please escort Miss Parkinson and the rest of Slytherin house out of the Great Hall, please." Professor McGongall said.

"Where exactly will I be leading them to, ma'am?"

"The dungeons should do."

Filch motioned to all of us, and we followed. Flora grabbed my hand and held it tightly. Hestia was on the other side of Flora, holding on to her other hand.

"You know what's coming, right?" Hestia said, "Since Harry Potter is back at Hogwarts, the Dark Lord will surely come here to try and kill him. And he's gonna tear apart this whole castle trying to find him."

Neither Flora or I said anything because we knew Hestia was right.

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**Okay, okay, I know it's really really cannon, but I wanted it to be mainly cannon at least so it would give another side to the Battle of Hogwarts, from someone who's sorta torn in their allegiance. Anywho, thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 03-3

**Hey guys! OH MY GOSH, I get on here after a few days of not having any reviews, and WOW! Thank you all so much for your kind words! I know a lot of you mentioned that the fic is moving really fast, and I know it is, but when I wrote this, I sorta centralized it around Astoria's fifth year (Battle of Hogwarts) and the years after (her finishing up her school years and whatnot.) Another thing is that I wrote this fic when I was like fourteen, and I'm sixteen now, so I like to think I've matured a lot in my writing style since then. Thank you all SO MUCH for reviewing, and I hope you guys enjoy my fanfic once it settles into the Battle of Hogwarts/post-Hogwarts.**

**Thanks to justayuppie, Lasagna, Guest, its a beetle, victoria, forgottentoast, and dracothedruggie for reviewing!**

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**Chapter 03-3**

**Imminent**

I kept looking around for Draco. I couldn't see him anywhere. I was worried he had slipped off to fight with the Death Eaters against Harry Potter and his protectors, like Hestia had said. But I hoped with all I had that he didn't. He could very easily be killed. Someone could cast a curse and he would be cut open, and... I couldn't bear to think about it. I loved Draco. And I hadn't truly been able to tell him how much. We were nearing the dungeons now, and I could hear-and feel-something like stomping feet, but it was shaking the floor beneath me. As we passed a window, I could see what looked like stone guards marching out towards the bridge beyond the castle. As I looked up, I could see orbs of blue light shooting up towards the sky and starting to create a dome-like shield around the top of the castle. This was serious.

My view of the window was then blocked by Professor Carrow passing by us quickly. Flora let go of our hands and stepped quickly up.

"Professor Carrow-"

He didn't turn around. Flora picked up her pace and called his name again. By the time she had caught up with him and pulled on his sleeve, I started to call out to her. Then suddenly he turned and pulled his wand quickly with a look of rage on his face. A flash of bright green light shot out of his wand and straight into Flora's chest. She crumpled to the ground. Professor Carrow turned and kept walking, like nothing had gone wrong.

It took me a few seconds to register what just happened. I ran to Flora's seemingly lifeless body and looked at her in shock while Hestia checked her pulse. Then she put her ear down on Flora's chest to listen for a heartbeat, all the while saying Flora's name, trying to call out to her. Hestia's body shook and tears fell on her sister's face. Students had gathered around us and were murmuring to each other. I was still staring in shock, wide-eyed. Finally, Hestia and I carefully picked up Flora's body, and we all descended the steps to the dungeon. Once we were inside, Hestia and I carried Flora to the farthest darkest corner. Filch took one last, slightly sympathetic look at Hestia and I. Then he shut the door and stood, guarding the dungeon, on the outside.

I looked down at Flora. My friend, killed by a Death Eater. Just like April. I could taste the bitter irony of it. I stroked her hair and cried harder than I had in years. Hestia sat against the wall, looking white as a ghost. I looked across the room to find that most of Slytherin house was looking at me. I tried again to find Draco, and finally I saw his grey eyes. He was staring at me, his face expressionless. My vision blurred from tears again, and I crossed my legs, crossed my arms on top of them, and leaned over and buried my head in my arms, curling up in a ball. I cried until I either had no more tears or became too exhausted. Then I sat up, wiped my eyes with my hands, took off my robe, and laid it across the upper part of Flora's body, covering her face all the way to her knees. Suddenly I heard, "He's gone." from somewhere in the crowd. Everyone looked to the door, where there was no Filch to be found. Beside me, Hestia blinked a couple times and looked up with swollen eyes.

"I think he went to go find his cat."

"Well it probably would be smart to leave before the whole bloody place comes down."

"Well, come on then!"

Students started to stand up and walk out of the dungeon. But neither Hestia nor I moved.

I heard Vincent Crabbe say in his usual drawl, "Hey, Draco, are you coming or not?"

"You go on, head towards the seventh floor, and I'll meet you guys up in a minute."

I looked up as Draco walked over to me. He reached out his hands to help me up, and when I held mine out, he pulled me up straight into his arms. He hugged me tightly, and then held my shoulders, his face right in front of mine, and said with quiet urgency, "Come with Crabbe, Blaise, and I. And bring Hestia. We're going to the Room of Requirement."

"I can't. I can't leave Flora yet. I just... Can't."

He looked at me with heartbreaking sympathy.

"I'm so sorry, Astoria. I really am. This shouldn't be happening... But I have to leave. I'm sorry, Tori, I can't stay. I would, if I could, I swear, Tori."

I whimpered, "Please, Draco, please don't die. Please. Please don't leave me."

"I won't." he said, but I knew there was no way he could promise that.

"And what if you do?"

Draco looked right into my eyes. His looked as if they were filling with tears. Then he pulled me close, into another hug. He held me tightly, and I could feel his breaths shuddering. He whispered, "Stay safe."

Draco pulled away from me, our fingers interlocking, and looked at my face for what could have been the last time. He stroked my hair, kissed my forehead, then my lips, and turned to leave.

"Draco-"

He looked back around, one hand still holding on to mine. We held gazes for what seemed to me like only a few small seconds, and then he slowly took a step away, our fingers gradually slipping separate ways until they came apart completely.

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**Once again, I know the relationship between Draco and Astoria has been moving fast, but the fanfic's about to settle a little bit, I promise. Hope you enjoyed anyways! (:**


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